


Monachopsis

by ParanoidGarbage



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 11:53:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11600094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParanoidGarbage/pseuds/ParanoidGarbage
Summary: Adam struggles to find his place in the Gangsey.





	Monachopsis

**Author's Note:**

> Filling the tumblr prompt "Monachopsis: the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place." 
> 
> Also available to read on my writing blog, paranoidteenagegarbage.tumblr.com!

Adam Parrish had lived in Henrietta all his life, but running with three Aglionby boys made the small town feel like an entirely different world. Suddenly he was in all of the hippest spots to hang, conferring over a leather bound notebook about the whereabouts of a dead king. Before Aglionby, Adam had had no such lofty pursuits; his life was mechanical and concrete. He was working towards college, working to take care of his parents, working to stay alive. Now he was swept up in the scholarly pursuit of magic--something that Adam had stopped believing in long ago. It was hard to understand Gansey’s enthusiasm for the chase and even harder to understand how Ronan and Noah not only allowed Gansey to get his hopes up, but encouraged him at every turn. For this reason, Adam found himself growing quiet whenever the three boys excitedly theorized about Glendower, unable to make himself match their level of belief and zeal. He would much rather discuss the future, their plans and aspirations, than the long-dead past. 

Just now, Adam was once again sitting on the sidelines while Ronan and Noah pored over the notebook, leaving Gansey to charm their waitress and place the orders. Although he couldn't understand it, Adam admired the boys' commitment to their quest; how could they examine and reexamine each piece of evidence with renewed vigor every week--especially with no promise of success?

  
"Adam, what would you like for dinner?" Gansey asked politely, gesturing towards the waitress. Gansey had already ordered for himself and Ronan but had not yet established a ‘usual’ order for Adam. 

  
"I'll have, uh," Adam glanced at the menu and ordered the first thing he saw, "Can I get a supreme pizza?"

  
"You like sausage?" Gansey asked, cupping his chin in a hand so that he could lean towards Adam and give the answer his full attention. That was another thing about Gansey, how perfectly he performed in social situations. Adam doubted that Gansey really cared as much as he seemed to about Adam's pizza preferences, but the point of the act was that he seemed to care.

“Not really,” Adam shrugs, “I like the vegetables though.” Gansey smiled and nodded as though Adam had imparted to him some sacred knowledge. How could he act so engaged? Adam supposed that he’d need that ability in the future.

“I’ll be sure to remember that,” Gansey assures Adam warmly. 

“They have a veggie pizza,” Ronan interjected with a roll of his eyes, “Picking off the sausage is a waste. You better eat it, Parrish.”

Adam knew better than to be picky about food from growing up with limited means, but Ronan had always had everything he ever wanted. Why should he be concerned with waste? “Then you have to lick it up if I vomit, Lynch.” In truth, Adam didn’t really have such an aversion to sausage and intended to eat the pizza as it came, but it was so much more more entertaining to pretend that he didn’t for the sharp grin that spread across Ronan’s face. After that short interaction, however, Ronan and Gansey went back to discussing the search and Adam was once again left alone with his thoughts. It was difficult for Adam to feign interest as Gansey had, so he remained silent for the majority of the dinner and all the way back to Monmouth, where he was invited to spend the weekend. 

Adam was led up the steps to the second floor of Monmouth that housed his three friends. Ronan immediately dashed into his room, followed silently by Noah. Gansey went to his desk and began taking down notes on what was discussed over dinner. Adam was left standing before the tiny Henrietta, unsure of what to do with himself. 

One indecisive eternity later, Ronan emerged from his room in a whirl of emerald green bedsheets. 

“Enter...if you dare,” Ronan, draped in a sheet as though it were a cloak, commanded with an ominous air. Ronan winked at Adam and beckoned him forward with a finger. 

Adam snorted, but did as he was bidden. He followed the prancing Ronan into his room, then stopped in the doorway. He’d been to Monmouth plenty of times, but never into Ronan’s room. It was dim inside, the floor-length window covered by a sheet pinned to the wall; the only available light came from Ronan’s glowing computer screen.

“Behold!” Ronan crowed as he pressed the spacebar on his keyboard. A gentle song began to play through the stacked speakers next to Ronan’s desk, something nostalgic that sounded as though it was supposed to be coming from a delicate music box. Ronan perched on the edge of his bed, still wrapped in the sheet, and watched Adam carefully out of the corner of his eye, not quite wanting Adam to know that he was watching. Adam wondered what sort of reaction Ronan was expecting. This kind of music was much softer than anything he had heard Ronan play before, and the unfinished sound certainly added to the air of hesitation clouding the room. 

“Did you write this?” Adam asked at length. 

Ronan nodded slowly, eyes now trained on the computer screen. “I wanted your opinion on it. You’re the first to hear it, so be nice,” he warned with an unconvincing edge to his voice.

Adam had to smile. “I think it’s really good. Sounds like a lullaby,” he crossed the room and sat next to Ronan on the bed as the song ended. “Do you have any more?” 

Ronan clicked around a few times and another song began to play, this time deeper and more foreboding, almost sinister. “Wow,” Adam nodded, “That should be on a game soundtrack.”

“You think?” Ronan turned just slightly to face Adam, now engaged in the conversation, “I thought so too, but it was originally meant to be a sort of funeral dirge, you know? It had bells, but they didn’t quite match up with the beat so I nixed them…” 

Adam listened, still smiling, as Ronan explained his thought process for the second song. It felt nice to be included in something for once, something that he could discuss with Ronan on even ground. Some part of Adam was especially pleased that he was the first to hear Ronan’s compositions and that Ronan had sought out Adam’s opinion exclusively. Maybe he wasn’t able to keep up with the boys all the time, but he’d enjoy moments like this that brought him further into the fold and made him feel like a real part of the gang.


End file.
